lets begin with zen

Lately, I am all about zen ( as if you haven't noticed). I like to feel all relaxed and unstressed by life. My life has been nothing but stress for years. I have worked extremely hard to get to where I am at now. I gave up friends, family, exercise, and fun in order to get through nursing school. Now that I am a new nurse in an intensive care unit I encounter new stresses that have bigger consequences. I hold the lives of people in my hands. One mistake and I could end a persons life. It is my sole purpose to protect my patients from harm to the best of my ability. I guess you could say that I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. Therefore, I feel that when I am off of work that life should be stress free and happy. Apparently, I am the only one who feels this way lol. Instead, I find myself collected and calm while another is stressed. Unfortunately, I end up annoyed by their stress and it ruins my good day. I just stare at this person wondering how they could be so upset about something so silly. Then, to their disgust, I suggest that they just chill and not sweat the small things. What a waste........ maybe they need to try yoga? hmmm? Got a disgusted look on that suggestion too :(
So yesterday morning I followed a yoga journal podcast. So far these have been some of my favorite videos. The videos are somewhat of a challenge yet they allow me to relax. Then tonight I tried a new video I bought from B&N, 5 day fit yoga with Suzanne Deason. I did the 4th day thinking it was the pm for weight loss version. Overall it was very relaxing although it was not much of a challenge. I really enjoyed the fact that it was slow and made me breath. All too often I feel like I need to rush through life instead of just enjoying the moment. I started this workout doing the same thing, until I realized that I was going to be in the same pose for a while. Therefore, I just slowed down my breathing and started enjoying the moment. The thing that really hit me was at the end. She suggested that everyone state a healthy intent for the day. I thought of all the things that I just cannot give up. I would like to say that I wont have another McDonalds mocha frappe but I have a serious addiction that I cant let go of. I would like to say I will eat healthy and treat my body with kindness but right now I know I would break that promise too. So I thought and thought some more about what I would be able to give up in order to make myself healthy and I came up with HURT.
I get my feelings hurt so easily by the actions of others. I dont reach out to others very often, so when I do I feel like I should get a response. Today I sent messages to several people and even though they received them they did not reply for one reason or another. Then I found that my teenage niece defriended me on facebook lol. Ya I know how trivial but it still hurt my feelings. Mainly I felt hurt because she is the type to do that only because she hates you and wants you to know it. And I'm not even sure what I did. I mean I live 500 miles away and haven't seen her in 2 years... maybe thats it? Anyhow, I decided that tonight / tomorrow I will give all that up and be happy for the love I do receive. I will breathe out the negativity and let love fill my lungs with joy :) In the midst of all that hurt I reconnected with my favorite cousins and had a wonderful weekend with my bestfriend/ boyfriend.
Last but not least... I was doing a yoga video where they talked about stretching as tall as you can but they also stated that you must be well grounded in order to get taller. That got me thinking about how you could easily apply that to life. Everyone talks about achieving your dreams and going beyond what you thought was ever possible. Unfortunately, no one tells you the magic formula to reaching your dreams. I think that balance may be the key...if you want to touch the stars you must dig your feet deep into the soil and become grounded first.Make like the roots of a tree that push further and further into the ground all the while the trunk and branches keep stretching taller and taller. A well rooted tree survives any wind that blows and every storm that follows. My yoga friends, I pray that you too dig deep and reach for the moon in everything you do. Namaste